Lust vs Love

So many people have given their most intimate parts of themselves to strangers without getting to know them first.  Many believe that through sex feelings can be gained that might not be otherwise.  The problem with that thinking is that not everyone you meet and have sexual encounters with is going to be your one and only.  Love is not gained by sharing a bed, but by getting to know one another intellectually and emotionally beforehand.

Lust is an emotion that fools a lot of people.  It could be the closeness one feels when they are with someone intimately, but overall if that is all you have a relationship based on you will be sadly disappointed later when it is not so new and you find you are with someone you hardly know.  So how do you change lust to love?   Even if you started hot and heavy, you still have a wonderful chance of turning a leaf to getting to know your partner.

First off date.

Don’t consider your bedroom the ultimate place to be.  Go out and have fun together. Get to know what one another likes and dislikes.  I always suggest keeping a dating journal.  This way you are not blinded by things that maybe you overlook because the passion is greater.   My parents who have been married over 56 years have always told me, “love is about feeling you both got the best end of the deal, not one but both of you.”  In other words, you both feel you hit the lotto when you met one another.  Unfortunately in this day and age we overlook the basics and get right down to baring it all.

Because let’s face it Internet dating which has become bigger than ever is becoming a competition for men and women to prove themselves beyond the basics of dating.  We have the mentality that if we are good enough in bed that we can make the other person want us more.  While that may work for a while, its a sure thing that eventually the reality of it all will come later when you wake up one day and realize you don’t really know the other person.

Just remember when you are dating, you are worth it and you don’t have to start off so fast. It is natural as adults to want to rush to that, but how exciting and fun it would be to have someone pursue or to pursue someone the old fashioned way.

To build upon a friendship first that can last through time, rather than a night that might eat away at your insecurities when you are with the wrong person.   Lust and love are worlds apart. If you are seeking a life partner I suggest, slow and steady and the rest when ready.

Happy Dating!