I have so many clients as well as family and friends that are stuck in relationships that are not healthy for them. While I am a firm believer in working things out and especially in marriage, I also do not believe that life was meant for people to be miserable. Some relationships are just toxic and only lower the self esteem and standards of another person. I hear many excuses about why someone has to stay.
Financial is always a huge one, but the thing is where there is a will there is always a way. If you are being held back from your full potential that is a good sign that you are not where you are supposed to be. In some relationships the other person likes to hold you back because it lowers your self esteem and they feel they can keep you there regardless of circumstances. That is true in many ways. Their insecurities become toxic to your well being. Love is not about feeling trapped. Its not about hurting one another. True love is about feeling you got the best end of the deal. Its about feeling you both got lucky and won the lottery in each other.
While leaving is not always easy, it can change your life. I was stuck in an abusive marriage for 10 years. I got married at 17 and because I had to get emancipated to get married, my husband at the time felt he was my new keeper. He felt he had all the reigns in controlling me after showing none of this in three years of dating.
I would never wish to take it all back because of my two beautiful sons I had with him and the fact this experience made me the woman I am today. Stronger, more loving, attentive to relationships, and compassionate. God gave me that so I could help others. The silver lining in this story is I chose to send him away and met someone that was ready to handle this new strong woman and love her with all he has.
Twenty years later I am madly in love and happy in marriage. Life is too short to hang on to something that will not cause you to grow as a person. So if you are sitting there and contemplating life , but most important thinking of other men or women, you need to remember that you should deal with situation you are first in letting go in order for life to allow greater things in someone that appreciates you and loves you to their fullest.
🙂 If love has just got stagnant then go back to a time together when you were madly in love and save the relationship. All relationships have seasons of doubt BUT if you are in one that hurts you or belittles you, then don’t make excuses to stay…….fly the coop.