Creating A Lasting Romance III am NEVER going to have another relationship again. It hurts too much…He cheated on me…He broke my heart…He vanished and never called me again…She was flirting with everyone at the party…She told me she was still married, after we had been dating for almost half a year!Except for those who join a convent or take vows in the priesthood, most of us have been through these types of painful situations once, twice, maybe even multiple times.
Like an unsuccessful dieter, we vow never to do THAT again, never to eat half a pie at one sitting, never to fill the kitchen drawers with chocolate bars on sale. The we find ourselves knocking back a family size bucket of fried chicken without even realizing we are eating.
What has happened? Well, it’s simple. We are failing to see the pattern in our behavior.Almost 100% of the time, more than two failed romances means that a pattern has been set. To prevent the perils of creating a problematic pattern, let me suggest the following:
First: What is absolutely the most important thing you want in a lover.
Second: What are you willing to compromise?
Third: What should the partner look like? This includes very good looking, average looks, looks don’t matter but clean does.
Fourth: Finances. You will probably want someone who is financially secure, able to support himself or herself without constantly borrowing from everyone, including you. So, enough income that if you should move in together, this person could share living expenses.
Finding a candidate for a lasting romance, for marriage or for a life-long love partnership is hard work. You don’t just walk into a bar and pluck one off a seat. You have to date a lot of prospects, spend at least a week or two socializing with your choice of person, not just fall into bed with him or her. Then finally, make a decision as to whether this is the right person for you. If this IS the right person, you have to see if you are the right person for him or her.
A lot of information is exchanged. A lot of situations are analyzed, a lot of compromises are made until finally, you both feel that you can fit into each other’s lives.Put a little effort into finding the person you want to spend the majority of your time with and you will have created the type of romance that will improve your life instead of cluttering it up.